whichiest | PENANCE IC INBOX

Harlan, hello! Oh, hold on.

[She switches to text, actually. Because she's practicing being modern, and whatnot.]

Thank you very much for checking in on me. I'm doing well, and have indeed found my mirror! I keep it safe in my nightstand, so hopefully I won't lose it again in the future!

I have been made aware of some of the trauma that was experienced by those who left Penance to help on Lucifer's mission. You weren't among them, I hope?

lol. look at u go.

i was just gonna ask u about that. i didnt go. normally id be all over extra shit to do around here but lmao look what thatll get u.

do u know what happened? i havent heard much.

No, I'm afraid not. My husband told me there was a shipwreck, but he didn't want to talk about what he went through during that time. It must have been so frightening!

ur husband? fuck everyone around here is married these days. congrats ig. when did that happen?

at least u were smart and stayed home. nothings ever worth the extra effort in this shithole.

We had our names pulled out of a hat during Mammon's party!

[True romance.]

You'd like him, he's just vile!

[Harlan will, in all likelihood, not be a fan of Izaya, but who knows!]

I'm glad to hear that you're all right, as well. It seems like everyone has at least come back safely, in the end. How have you been, otherwise? Have you any hobbies or an occupation to keep you busy?

[white man blinking dot gif.]

hold up. u married some guy after literally pulling names out of a hat? jfc.

and ur cool with that? ur happy?

did u even know him before?

[He'll circle back to the other stuff in a moment, but, like, what???]

Oh, yes! The two of us were already seeing one another romantically, in fact! It was just a funny coincidence, but he went down on one knee and was just gracious about the whole thing. We moved in together after coming back to Penance and it’s been lovely! You’re welcome over for tea anytime you’d like!

[She’s just this Chill, apparently.]

[Oh thank god.]

ok congrats for real then. still a bizarre way to get married but as long as ur on board with it w/e.

ive been ok. bored as fuck tho. mammons castle sucked. at least here weve got the arcade and the bar and shit. i was a dealer at the club until mr stick up his ass took over.

i found my guitar but then i broke a fucking string and couldnt get a replacement at the goddamn renn faire.

and all my fuckin friends keep leaving.

[People don't ask him how he's doing very often, RIP Bella.]

hey ur still big into the whole chaos reigns thing right? u want to be evil and shit?

how serious about that are u? what sort of bad shit are u cool with?

[Oh no! That's so much negativity! Reading all that, she decides to respond to his questions first, and then she'll circle back.]

Oh, yes! I'm very serious! I've wanted to perform black magic since I was a little girl!

[You know, feeding all the birds wholesome healthy seed meal as they landed upon her windowsill.]

I'm not particularly keen on violence, and I'd like to be able to be evil without being impolite, but I'd love to weave curses and conjure disasters and bring monsters to life!

[Also:]

I can give you a guitar string, if that would help!

Edited 2021-08-07 20:10 (UTC)

[Hm. That's a disappointing answer, even if it's cute... and naive. Maybe he won't share the whole serial killer thing just yet.]

no worries. i found one. thanks tho. thats sweet of u.

i gotta ask how u can be evil and polite at the same time. curses and disasters and monsters still fuck people up right? how is that diff from violence?

Oh, good! I'm glad! I really hope that it helps you get into better spirits!

[Whew! A relief! Maybe Harlan's luck is changing!]

I suppose the way I look at it is that it doesn't particularly bother me if people suffer.

[Great! Not that her attitude really matches that viewpoint. She almost obsessively helps people--it's just in her nature. She hates it.]

But I'd never track mud into someone's home, as that would be just terribly rude!

lol. thanks. well see.

[WELL THEN, on second thought.]

hm. i think that makes sense.

[It doesn't, but they're both busted.]

so shit like murder and torture are a-ok in ur book so long as ur nice about it? lol.

i can get behind that.

You can't make an omelet without breaking a few eggs!

[That said, the idea of straight-up murder really isn't her style. Maybe if a spell required human sacrifice, well, that's just the way of things. It's not as if she batted an eye when Mother Bloodworth effectively kidnapped and destroyed the lives of several modern-age princesses.]

im not sure thats super relevant but good to know.

u said ur husband was vile lol. whatd u mean by that?

Oh, he's really just an awful person who truly deserves to be in Hell!

[Which, of course, is a glowing Belladonna review.]

He goes out of his way to ruin people, and I feel so lucky to have met him.

hes not gonna fuck with u tho right?

[:')]

How funny! No, of course not! Anyway, if he did it would only be for my benefit, and I'd be quite thankful.

[Her idea of relationships is clearly off, but...]

[Oh, boy. The alarm bells are going off, even for Harlan.]

idk that u can fuck with someone for their benefit. the definition of fucking with someone is screwing them over.

its not my business but it sounds like u should watch urself with this guy.

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